I’m lost as what to do. Leaving this place, leaving my life, my love, behind. I’m leaving yet she is the one who wanted to leave me. I see her disengaging, I see her drifting further and further away and I’m powerless to stop it. I’m just standing here on this side of the tectonic plate and all that seem to have true meaning is drifting away, I can feel it every day. It’s agonizing — sometimes all I can do is look away, look down, and feel sad. These past days have shown me how powerless I am, how I have no control over anything in my life, how it’s all a show where I pretend to play the protagonist but in fact I have no way of changing anything around me. I feel like Rosencrantz from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead — even though I’m the main act, I feel like a side act where everything is decided by others and all I can do is observe. Things make no sense, there is no direction, there is no place to run to. My place is moving and I’m moving along. I don’t know what’s coming and what I had, what I still have, is immensely valuable and I’m not sure I’ll have it again.