I remember, today, riding back in the bus and just wanting to be with you. I have been having rashes of feelings lately, of loneliness, fear, sadness. I am feeling again what I felt last time when I accepted a job: the prospect of being away from you. I know we are far away and I know we are not supposed to change much about that unless it works for the both of us. I know. Yet there are things that are not about knowing. Sanity is a strange thing, comes and goes, seems to make sense at one point and has nothing but question marks at other times. Like when I think: what am I here to do in this world? I have been trying to be good to others, do best at what others ask me to do, enjoy myself, make people happy, yet when I look back, the most fulfilling moments have been moments with you. I’m looking forward to some of these moments…