You sailed away and I stayed behind, you went to a far-off land, into the wild and I stayed. You are far away now, as days go by I feel more and more alone. When I hear your voice, it’s distant. The phone cuts out to remind me that you are not here, and I cry. As I feel you getting further and further away in the wilderness, I wish I could be there, but it’s a false wish. It’s you who has to make that choice. And you have made your choice, you have decided to be away. I need your hand to touch, your shoulder to sleep on, but I’m stranded here on the seashore and all I can see are the waves crashing and smell the faint memory of your perfume on my pillow.

You sailed away and I stayed behind, you went off to find yourself and I’m stranded here, dreaming of you, wishing that you had included me in your adventure.

No time for me. I miss that time. It’s time stolen from me. I feel like I felt before: having a partner without the other person truly caring. I’m in this something that doesn’t help me move forward with my life. It’s just eating me, draining me. I wish I was better, I wish I could be there with her. I feel like wasting time, energy. I want to build a life, and I’m not managing. I put myself in harder and harder situations, I make my own life a living hell. I want to get out of this, but there is no easy way out. The easy way out just seems easy but is riddled with its own problems. The hard way is the only way, but I’m tired and very-very lonely. I know I can give — she gave that to me, that knowledge that there is more out there and it’s possible for me to attain it. I’m just not sure how much time it will be, how much I will have to work on myself to get there. To have a life worth living.

Waiting for the light

for her soft skin
to touch mine
and transport me

for her laughter
to make me smile
and elevate me

for her hair
to fall on my shoulder
and carry my weight

for my life to untangle
with her by my side