She was so different than I remember. A grown up woman. Reading glasses, cool new hair (she always used to play with her hair, I loved it always), with a more serious look on her face. Doing a somewhat different job than before. Looked so different. I don’t look different, I don’t even use a different picture, I haven’t really grown up I think. Not really. Nowadays I just understand better how fragile and fallible we all are. Looking at her new picture made me feel like the divide between us has widened, and it made me feel sad. She’s someone else, with someone else. It’s hard to process, this distance, that seemingly suddenly happened out of nowhere. I now regret even more that our paths didn’t join together. I wish I had been there, seeing her change. I would have loved to be there for her throughout these years. I wish she had needed me. I wrote her a short message a few days ago, I saw a talk about sex work and I thought she’d enjoy it. She didn’t respond, though she did read the message. Maybe she forgot to respond. Maybe she doesn’t want to respond. Probably somewhere in between. Felt a bit lonely, but it’s just the way it is.