These days are difficult. Before I met her I didn’t know, but now I do, that there is something really beautiful to look forward to. Just today as I was about to get on my bike, I thought about, as I sometimes do, having an accident. And I realized that although I used to care about myself in general, I actually never really cared about having an accident. I didn’t seem to have felt as if I had to loose anything by getting hit, maybe going to a hospital, maybe worse. Not that I don’t enjoy this life — I do, and I always did, but it just wasn’t that valuable. I didn’t see much change in it, it felt repetitious. The biggest change I ever saw was that once I got out of high school, aggression and violence was gone. But nothing much has changed between then and when I met her. It’s interesting to think that a decade can go by and everything can stay at a standstill. It seems it’s only through relationships that we can truly change.