I feel alone, again. It’s been a while. I remember those stretches of time, the feeling of loneliness extending into eternity. The feeling that nothing works and there is nobody to console me. The feeling of being rejected. That I, once again, don’t belong. I miss the times in my old hometown where I could just phone some friends up, drink a beer and enjoy the spring. I miss the times of going on dates, meeting new people, going down for a good music, randomly meeting friends. I miss having a beautiful apartment, I miss my cat. He was so good to me, and I was so horrible to him. I feel in a statis of nothing moving, nothing changing, no challenges other than having to wait and wait more. I waited twenty years to be outside of the home where I grew up and I hated it. I don’t want to wait any longer. I want to live.