I broke up with S and now all I feel is a big void. She’s not on my mind constantly, but I think of her, at night, and imagine how it would be to meet her again, in the far future. I long for her, I miss her joy of life, her love of nature, the way she talked about all the fun things happening around her and all the things that didn’t work out for her. I want to be there to share the joy or to console her, hug her strongly, lie next to her. She was beautiful, as always, the last time I saw her, with her new skirt and colourful coat, with a strongly coloured lipstick… it was hard to be there, to say goodbye when all I wanted was to be with her. But I had no choice, I didn’t want to become some sort of friend, meeting once in a while. It would have made me sad. So here I am, with my void, thinking of her, and how I am just a speck of dust compared to her. Thinking of how amazing a life she has with all the nice friends and parties, all that nature that she loves so much, with all the natural beauty she has, and how me and my life pale in comparison.