As days go by with A, I find myself surprised at how far we have come. It’s as if happiness slipped under between us and it’s here now. I haven’t even noticed as it sneakily entered into my life but now I’m surprised by it every time. It’s hard to find words because I have not been in this place, in this world, for such a long while. Not even sure if I have been here, ever. It doesn’t seem fleeting, acted out, or superficial. It’s steady and slow, like an ocean wave, hard to judge its power until it blows over and then it’s strong as an ox, hits you hard. That would be so frightening I’m afraid to even think about it. It’s strange how beautiful the time is with her, though. I feel free, at home, and I don’t even know how to tell her, or if I need to tell her at all. I’m not sure there are words for this, or if there are, I seemed to have overused them, or used them at the wrong time, at the wrong place, for the wrong things. Meanwhile I am floating on what we have built for ourselves, and I’m not afraid. It’s a strange feeling and a very new territory.