Biking back home on this early summer day, all the girls dressed light and short, beautiful legs, beautiful smiles, the sun on their beautiful breasts and I’m just going home, going nowhere, to the ether where nothing awaits but my own boredom and now I feel like this idiot who will never be happy, always longing for a beautiful girlfriend, who will never come. Like when I was a child, just longing, waiting, and self-hating for being stupid and for never being good enough for a girl, just me and my feelings of uselessness and self-hate. Biking, seeing all these beautiful, happy girls and I’m miserable and take it out on the bike, pushing it, pushing it harder, as fast as I can go, maybe I will forget but I won’t, I’ll never forget that I’m alone. Alone in this place where everyone worships money and power and I worship beautiful girls, thinking only they can save me, only they can help me. Only I can help myself, but I don’t want to hear that, because it’s also true that someone fun and engaging and beautiful could at least help me a little bit getting out of this mess I got myself into. I don’t even know how I got here. But it’s really-really bad and I need someone I can at least touch and talk to or I’ll really-really go crazy.