I’ll miss hearing about her life. I’ll miss worrying about her. The smell of her skin in the morning. Her challenging questions. Question that nobody dared to ask. Her play of words. The memories that came to me so often of us walking around in the city. I’ll miss missing her. Thinking of her while walking in an empty corridor. Remembering her in the middle of the workday, just like that, out of the blue. Her playfulness. Oh god, her playfulness. That mischievous smile of hers. Her backpack. How I loved that backpack. How it reminded me of her, her mum, her family. Her stories about her childhood. Giving her presents. Those were beautiful moments when I could get something she liked. Giving her flowers. All the weird and beautiful and amazing flowers I could get her. Waiting for her reaction to my gifts. The thought that I mattered to her. The thought that I mattered, to her.